Giving my best.

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Rasanya perkara yang paling mengecewakan adalah bila kau rasa diri dah beri yang terbaik tapi sebenarnya belum cukup baik untuk orang lain.

Kadang2 terfikir sendiri, part mana yang aku tak participate, part mana yang aku tertinggal, part mana yang aku tak beri bahagian aku supaya semua tu boleh jadi hampir lengkap, part mana yang aku terlepas pandang sampaikan semua part-part ni jadi punca kepada ketidaklengkapan sesuatu perkara.

Bila kau dah bersedia untuk segala kemungkinan dan risiko yang kau sendiri sedar takkan pernah sempurna entah dari mana muncul pula sesuatu parasit yang merosakkan semuanya. Hampir rosak, and eventually it will. 

31/1

Months away.

Assalamualaikum.

Gembiranya hati dah dapat blog ni balik. How much I miss blogging, dulu2 punya cerita dah kemana entah haha. Few reasons why I love blogging. It helps you to spill out whatever thoughts in your mind which in turns help you to feel relax. Kadang2 overthink gila2 and you feel like you have no one to talk and this is the place. It let others to read your stories/opinions/thoughts and maybe they can get some useful inputs by reading them. 

But I guess it brings good more to the author itself. And surprisingly because of this blog and by His permission of course, I made friends with other bloggers..and that is the best thing ever like I never thought I can get new friends from this site! Maksudnya in real life pernah keluar sesamaa!!! Syukur :)

I used to share everything here and this blog is the one and only witness...but I guess new year comes with new entries so I decided to remove all of them. I thought I already loses my passion in writing but no. It faded but it still there and I still need this blog somehow. I want to record and save everything here....and read them when my age rises! (good word untuk tua :p)

Currently in semester 6 and will finish around june. Lama kan? Kadang2 rasa lamaa gila belajar padahal baru diploma pastu ada rasa menyesal gak la hahaha tapi bila fikir balik, this is the thing that I want. This is my course. My passion course! 

Dah kenapa harini cakap banyak pasal passion zzzzzz..Tapi serius lah ini kos pilihan yang betul2 kena dengan diri, kena dengan hati dan rela belajar sungguh-sungguh untuk every finals. Masa spm main2 takde pulak nak study hard macam sekarang haha. 

Kadang2 bila orang tanya senang ke susah,I'll answered ada senang ada susah :) and I really look into doing something sebab minat. Jenis tak minat kalau kena buat ni payahlah haha. Tapi ada je yang boleh continue study walaupun tak minat, hebatnya korang :)

I wish to update here everyday because I have so much to share and I got so many things in my mind but priority is still, priority. 

-Hectic practical life (8 5 8 5 8 5 )

-Assignments (yes we do have an awesome assignment masa praktikal)

-Rest time lagi (nak cari jodoh pun tak sempat zzz) 

-Study for finals (yes yes kami ada final exam yang sungguh menggembirakan) and actually I don't even know why I still can't tolerate with this. Like come on nak habis dah kot, mana kekuatannnnnnnn!!

Went to work and 8am and got back at 5pm everyday and it was fun actually praktikal ni. I met a lot of people and it taught me to be friendly all in all. If the day was good, I'll feel great throughout the day but if its not then maybe you could see one of the dying-practical student-face-doing-her-job. 

I mean there were some bad days where right at 8am I feel like everything went wrong. But I keep reminding myself that this is the real life situation in my life later, insyaAllah. Dealing with people's behaviour pun satu hal gak, ada yang mencabar kesabaran tapi pegang satu je, buat kerja diam2 dan siapkan. Jangan tidur time kerja melainkan dorang yang suruh haha!

Oh anyway, my action to deactivate twitter adalah satu benda yang sangat sangat sukar tapi sangat berbaloi. But because I find myself are getting carried away with it day...by day....and I can't seem to control myself when I opened it. I could hold the phone for hours scrolling and reading all the tweets and itu sangat bahaya. 

There's nothing wrong, but it is just me who feel like I didn't really need it plus sem 6 punya assignments sangat lah mencabar and that's why I did this prevention. Another reason is, I find myself to fall into that overthinking levels way too much that I tend to feel moody all the time. Reading all those relationship goals, the love quotes just making me to feel like....I will never get this, I will never meet my kind of man, and I don't deserve even a bits! hahaha!

Again, it was my fault that I can't control myself but honestly, I feel calmer now :) Ada jugak yang tanya2 dah ada ke belum tu nape dok retweet cinta2 punya tweet tu..Tu tengah heartbroken ke tu nape dok retweet tweet2 sedih tu..Ha itu pun satu sebab gak. I'll keep everything in private. Run!!! haha! Ada gak rasa nak close instagram..but we'll see how things goes..hehe

So I guess that's all, sem 6 will start this 2 February and I am actuallyyy...still finding the mood. I feel like I GOT NO MOOD TO GO BACK AND GO TO WORK HELPPPPP!!! 

Assalamualaikum! *she'll be just fine*