Stadi wik part 7

It's 3.24 a.m and I'm still working on chemistry.


And I'm all alone in this room.




I've been staying alone for like a week now and I have to admit that I felt lonely sometimes...
My roommate wasn't here and I do feel the urge to talk..but got no one to talk to....




Siapa je yang ada pukul 3 pagi ni? :D





My chemistry paper will be on....tuesday 



My biodiversity will be on....wednesday...yeay that was too close..like for a week I've been struggling to finish reading all biodi's topics...only then I work my chemistry out.


My ecology paper will be on 6 january...which I haven't even opened it..need to work on that as soon as my biodiversity paper end.







It's only three paper but the questions need us to think out of the box and lecturers want a profesional answer together with the science terms and everything..





May Allah ease everything for me and all of my friends :)




Ok 10 minutes ended! 

Stadi wik part 6

I always amaze on how sakura flowers looks like.


I love the colour and everything about it.



I love to stare at the mountain too.


The sky.

Every morning I would open my windows and sit.


I would stare the sky. 

How it amaze me to see that this earth is rotating slowly..but we didn't lose our balance or even fall like following this earth while it rotates...


The buildings is still in its place. The hill is still there.


And suddenly, wow there's a sunrise..



Suddenly it's 12 noon and the sun is right on top of your head.





And then it's 7 p.m. 


Once again, I would go to the windows and it's time to shut all of them.


I would stare at the sky again..

It turns darker..and the earth is rotating again..


And suddenly, the sun disappears. 

And sudddenly, a moon.. is there :)





Kadang2 waktu mengantuk, aku google gambar bukit and sunrise untuk merehatkan mata.


It works :)


Ada sorang akak ni cakap, 

Kalau gambar bukit atau bukit tu sendiri pun dah cantik, macam mana la syurga Allah tu..
mesti lagi cantik kan..




Kalau bunga sakura tu dah cukup cantik bagi kita, macam mana la bunga dekat syurga tu..




Kalau air laut yang kita suka tengok or amaze sebab terlalu cantik warna dia, warna hijau bersih, macam mana la syurga Allah tu kan..



Kalau apa yang ada kat dunia ni pun dah terlalu cantik bagi kita macam Bora-Bora island, Maldives, pulau-pulau yang korang teringin nak pergi tu, pemandangan bukit, pemandangan dari atas flight, atau apa-apa yang korang amaze sebab ianya terlalu cantik dan menenangkan, cuba bayangkan syurga Allah tu macam mana..... :)






Mesti berjuta kali ganda lebih cantik :)

When we see all these signs, it intends to bring us closer to Allah..

Stadi wik part 5

Ada sesetengah benda yang aku rasa malas sangat nak respon.



Eventhough it is IN the chat, but I choose to ignore it.


Why? because responding will actually making me to be more....depressed?


It is not really that kind of depress. 



It's like, an uncomfortable feeling just rush into your body and in a second it gave you that uneasy feelings.


Like responding or even reading that thing can change your mood in a second.



And that is why, most of the time I only replied to things that will increase my mood or maybe things that I feel will not bring me down.



Just thinking of few things that I really hope I can ask.


-Can you just not blame anyone for things that already happened?
-Can you just forget everything and live and look forward?
-Can you just not bringing things up? Not even a pieces of it..please don't bring it up
-Can you just understand that everyone is having its own time trying to accept everything that happened, including me?
-Can you just understand I am hardly trying to forget all the scenes? That happened right in front of me.
-Did you feel by bringing it up would make things to get any better? Would it change anything? Because as far as I can see, now, nothing seems to change. Kind of neutral. 







Let's just keep these.
No one could answer it anyway-

Stadi wik part 3

Harini aku cuba mencatat segala aktiviti-aktiviti yang aku lakukan.

Bersama dengan masanya sekali.

As if, 

Rehat from what time to what

Study dari jam berapa ke berapa

Solat dari jam berapa ke berapa

Selesai mencatat, walaupun belum ke malam, aku merenung kertas kecil ini

Tetiba terasa tertampar dengan diri sendiri.

Sebelum-sebelum ni punya aktiviti3 yang aku tak pernah catat,

Aku taktau berapa banyak masa yang aku dah buang or aku guna untuk berehat..yang mana,

Aku sangat lah berada dalam zon selesa. 

Kejap-kejap nak rehat

Kejap -kejap nak makan well ko hidup untuk makan je ke?

Kejap-kejap nak rehat lagi.

And the cycle repeat.

Sejak masuk sini, aku sering berada di luar zon selesa Alhamdulillah :)

Cuma aku terfikir tentang waktu-waktu dahulu..

Zaman-zaman SPM 

dan sebagainya

Dan aku juga terfikir, betapa banyaknya masa aku gunakan untuk berehat dan tidur dan makan dan jalan-jalan tapi sedikit masa untuk mencari DIA   T__T

Solat berapa minit ja..tak sampai 10  minit itupun nak buat laju gak nak kejar apa tah

Yang lain-lain kalau teringat baru buat...

KALAU...

Ala tertamparnya rasa ....

dia sebenarnya kan, bila dah tersedar daripada benda yang lalai tu pun itu satu nikmat yang tak semua orang boleh dapat :)

Itu tanda Allah masih sayang kita :)

Stadi wik part 2

Part paling best masa study week adalah bila mana rasa bersemangat nak belajar tu datang full untuk the whole day. 

Macam hang jaga gila ah dengan masa.

Kurang main wifi atau tak bukak langsung.

Kurang keluar.

Kurang dengar lagu.

Banyak baca buku.

Even masa hang rehat pun, hang baca buku motivasi haaa




Part paling tak best adalah bila datang satu perasaan hesitation yang menggunung..

Macam boleh ke aku skor


Boleh ke aku tau semua ni

Betul ke apa aku baca ni akan keluar semua or mana satu yang keluar eh

Eh betul ke aku boleh skor ni



T____T





T_______T






T___________________T

Stadi wik

Harini aku terlepas Subuh lagi.
Jam 1 pagi semalam aku dah mengantuk sebenarnya. Macam mana aku tau aku mengantuk?

Bilamana aku perasan yang aku dah tertidur selama  5 minit dalam position duduk yang statik.
Nasib tak tumbang. Atau jatuh kerusi.

Pastu aku decide nak tidur sebentar sebagai syarat untuk solat.

Half an hour ja.

Cukup half an hour alarm bunyi.

Pastu aku lupa tutup wifi jadi banyak whatsapp masuk.

Aku jadi serabut untuk beberapa saat kerana lupa tutup wifi- dan kerana banyaknya whatsapp2 tersebut.

Dan entah macam mana aku terbaring dan terus tidur. Sekian 


Harini aku terlepas Subuh....Aku ingatkan harini akan jadi hari yang menyedihkan sebab..
Allah mesti marah kan aku tak solat..Pastu bangun-bangun nak qada' pastu buat dhuha.

Dia macam dah la terlepas subuh - pastu tidur selepas subuh menolak rezeki - Allah bagi rezeki kau tidur as if buat dek ja dengan continue tidur - pastu bangun terus nak qada' - pastu buat dhuha nak ambil balik rezeki tu - macam-eh-tak-malunya-dahla-tadi-taknak-rezeki-pastu-bangun-nak-balik-rezeki-tu


Tapi, aku merasa ketenangan yang best walaupun harini terlepas Subuh. 

Ya Allah, Maha Pemurahnya Engkau :')

Ketenangan maksudnya ;
- tanpa whatsapp
- tanpa wifi

Aku juga merasa happy bila orang-orang penting memahami kesukaan aku yang suka off wifi. Dia macam mana nak cari orang yang faham camnihhh...macam kebebasan milik hak setiap insan tu memang diguna pakai betul dalam life aku sekarang haha. Hai arukas ;)

Maafkan saya jika ada yang whatsapp tengahari tapi lepas isyak baru direply...

Maafkan saya juga kalau ada yang dah bluetick tapi tak reply sebab ;
- busy
- sempat baca ja
- ada benda lain lagi penting. 


Yang ajak keluar tapi saya kata ada hal. "Ada hal" maksudnya luas ya. Dan hal yang dimaksudkan adalah seperti, study, basuh baju, tidur, kemas bilik dan lain-lain lagi dan aku merasakan privacy aku seolah-olah diceroboh apabila orang tanya, "Hal apa.....?" Ini kerana, aku perlu menyatakan hal-hal seperti diatas yang mana ianya sangat mustahil untuk buat orang tersebut faham yang betapa malasnya aku nak keluar. Sekian


**********

Study week dah bermula. Aku hanya mampu meminta maaf kepada semua yang membaca kalau ada salah silap yang sengaja atau tak. Aku taktau siapa yang baca blog ni tapi page view naik je setiap kali aku bukak, so emmmmm korang stalk aku eh? Haha. 


Doakan saya dapat jawab semua soalan exam tau :)
Assalamualaikum :)

"Jika kamu tak tahan penatnya belajar, maka kamu akan menanggung peritnya kebodohan."

Have you ever felt...

There are some things that I hope I will have the chances to experience them...again.
Before they were taken from me.

I miss those happy environment..I miss those days when everyone is so happy..
And I feel like it is better to have a complete members and live in stress with it rather than,
- Living with incomplete members and having nothing to stress with.

It strikes me for so many times these days..and usually, I lose my power to it.
I don't have the courage to fight it over and all I can do is just, let myself drowned and sink into it.
I don't really care of not having a new best friend or having none because sooner or later, they left. 

And having a more-than-friend-friend is also a vulnerable thing too.
You have no guarantee. There's no guarantee that you will be with the one that you want. Or the one that you'd hope for. 

Have you ever felt like everything is taken up, and you have nothing left to be happy with?
Friends? Family? Family? Family?

And all you want to do is just, stay alone by yourself like forever because every time you want to feel happy or about to be happy, there must be something that came in and ruined it. 


No one really understand how you actually feel.
They can said, I'm here or You can find me but no..
No one really feel.
No one really understand.

and I pushed away words like ;



- You're a strong girl 

 Probably you never see me waking up at 3 a.m crying my eyes out.